We’ll start light then end angry. Here we go:
Flight of the Dan
I’ve started a series that inserts me into the posters of movies I watched from ages five to fifteen. I call the series Flight of the Dan. The above cropped image is from the title piece. You can follow the series on my facebook page. Eventually the series will end up in the Art Institute of Chicago.
Do Dogs Understand Language or Tone/Gesture?
This is a legitimate question. I was walking to the L when I saw someone yelling at their dog in Spanish. I thought “Hmm, so does the dog only respond to Spanish words? Would it respond to “Sit” or just “Siéntese.” Do you have to match the language or just the tone? Seriously, I want an answer. I’ve decided this will be my child’s first science fair experiment.
Mugged and Kidnapped
Last night one of Trish’s co-workers was held up at gunpoint, forced into a car, and taken to an ATM where she withdrew $200. I guess the story ends well because the muggers left her on a street corner instead of raping and killing her. How pathetic is it that THAT is the happy ending?!
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This is an e-mail I sent to what is hopefully a representative of the newly announced director of Spider-Man 4, Marc Webb.
“I believe you represent Marc Webb so I was hoping you could pass this e-mail along to him.
It wasn’t as well known, but I too was going for the director job on Spider-Man 4. I have no hard feelings that Marc got it, in fact I’m excited to see what he does with the project.
Here is the e-mail l sent to the Sony HR department asking for the job. I thought Marc might like to read it as well. Tell him he can use any of my ideas if he’d like and I’m still available to work on the film in some fashion.”
And then I attached the letter to Sony….who never wrote me back…
I’m still working on the exclusive Spider-Man comic that I’m going to send to everyone who joined this facebook group. It’s not too late to join…even if Marc has the job now, you can still join to get the comic.
Conan O’Brien has posted a listing on Craigslist for the Tonight Show. True story. Here’s the link.
I thought I’d be awfully clever and send an e-mail making an offer on the show. Here is that e-mail:
“SUBJECT: I want the SHOW!
To be honest, the only reason I want to buy the Tonight Show is so I can give it to Conan and watch him host it for the next few decades….and so I can make guest appearances to promote my video arcade, Noah’s Arcade
I will give you $5,000. I do my own ads.
It was recently divulged that Sam Raimi quit Spider-Man 4. This led to an announcement by Sony saying they are throwing out Spider-Man 4 and rebooting the franchise with a whole new direction. However, Sony has yet to choose a new director for this project. What follows is the letter I wrote to the Sony Entertainment HR department asking for the job:
“To Sony Human Resources Department,
I am applying for the vacant director position on the next Spider-Man film.
I am 24 years old. I have been reading Spider-Man comics since I was nine. I know everything there is to know about all the characters in the Spider-Man universe ever.
I’ve had plenty of practice telling Spider-Man stories using action figures and stop-motion “special effects.” All my friends agree, they say “Hey Dan, you should totally make the next Spider-Man movie.” And I’m like “No duh.” Also, I’m working part time at the Office Depot and I’m looking for more work to supplement my income.
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I know what you’re thinking. “Didn’t we just have Christmas?”
We did, but this is a New Year present. I’ve started animating the first couple pages of a MoonBase V feature I wrote with Derek Smith a year ago. I mainly needed some material to practice animating but you know me, I love me some MoonBase. Here’s a taste of whats coming:
I know what you’re thinking again:
“When did Robo Cop, Buzz Lightyear, and Mega Man have a love child.”
I agree, I don’t like the suit’s color scheme either. I thought blue would look nice. I was wrong. As for all you MooBase V fans (hi Nick) I’m sure you’re completely thrown off by the teaser still I’ve given you:
“Is this our hero Grissom Deraux and if so, what is he doing on some strange planet and not the Moon?!?”
How exciting! All these questions! Will they get answered? Only if I finish the animation….and that might take a while.